Forget the Yes, Get a No

You’ve probably heard of the YES ladder? Start with small items where you get a yes and keep moving that train to bigger items until your subject gives you the yes you were looking for.

That’s amateur hour. Sometimes getting to NO can be more useful. This hack comes from Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator.

His technique is to frame your request like this: “Would it be a ridiculous idea to [insert request] ?” If what you’re asking for isn’t too outlandish, the person you’re asking will probably draw the conclusion it isn’t ridiculous and you’ll get to your YES through the NO.

I’ve had success with this when connecting with people on LinkedIn. In my note I’ll use something like “I admire your work with [insert field]. I’m working several projects with [insert field] myself, would it be a ridiculous idea for us to connect?” One person recognized the technique, connected, and complimented me on using it.

It’s a powerful hack. One that I don’t use often enough.