So You Want to Become a Better Writer?

Lesson 8 | Force of Focus

In my first post in the series, I recommended auditing the Coursera program, Good with Words: Writing and Editing Professional Certificate. I’m starting with Course 1, Writing and Editing: Word Choice and Word Order.

Writing as redecorating.

In this lesson Professor Barry cover syntax. Just as word choice is important when it comes to writing and persuasion, so is word order. This point is illustrated with Steven Pinker’s essay example: “Dog bites man” differs from “man bite’s dog.” Same words, very different meaning.

The classroom example comes from Joe Williams of the University of Chicago. He uses syntax choice to shift the focus in a medical malpractice case:

“A patient whose reactions go unmonitored may also claim physician liability. In this case a patient took Cloromax as prescribed which resulted in partial renal failure. The manufacturer’s literature indicated that the patient should be observed frequently and should immediately report any sign of infection. Evidence indicated that the patient had not received any instructions to report any signs of urinary blockage. Moreover, the patient had no white cell count taken until after he developed the blockage.”

The big error here is the force of focus. Who’s the subject of pretty much every sentence? The patient.

Joe Williams turns the focus back to the Physician: